While decorations, family dinners, and presents to exchange are intended to bring joy and connection, the intensity of the holiday season can also bring added stress for people. Family events could amplify past traumas. Tight finances and a season full of spending could add financial pressure. Not to mention the general stresses of having more social events, more to prepare, and higher expectations to manage. Being aware of how you are feeling, seeking support, and managing your own, and others’ expectations can go a long way in helping make sure your holidays are joyful.
Here are some practical ways to manage stress and prioritize your mental health this season.
Know your triggers and plan ahead
There are a lot of stress triggers that are more prevalent during the holidays. If you take some time to inventory what weighs on you most heavily you will be better able to navigate those circumstances. Holiday triggers may include demands on your time, family tension, travel, and financial pressure. According to Mental Health First Aid, taking some time at the beginning of each week to plan out your activities can also be a calming exercise.
Between work parties, school events, family gatherings, and celebrations with friends, you may be feeling stretched thin. It’s helpful to remember that the purpose of these events is to connect with others and enjoy yourself. If a gathering is causing you more stress than excitement it’s ok to say no. Saying yes to an event or gathering or activity when the situation may cause you discomfort may only leave you feeling resentful, according to the Mayo Clinic. Being selective about the events you attend will likely leave you with more energy to enjoy the gatherings you do chose to attend. According to NAMI, setting those boundaries is crucial to protecting your mental health through the holidays (and year-round too!).
Your feelings don’t take a break for the holidays
The holidays can often bring up memories of those who are no longer with us to celebrate. Since the holidays are tied up with so many memories with loved ones, feelings of sadness are normal. If you are mourning someone who has died recently, or not so recently, know that it’s okay to be sad and you should not try to stop those feelings just for the holidays that will only add to your stress. Some people like to make a special menu item in honor of a person who has died, to display special photos, or to be sure to share memories or stories at the event.
Past grievances can cause stress, but holiday gatherings might not be the appropriate venue to hash out differences. Decide if that stress is worth attending the gathering for and if it’s not it might be time to set the boundary and say “no.”
Give yourself space to feel everything that may be coming up for you. Just because it’s the holidays doesn’t mean you need to be happy all the time. What was magical last year might feel different this year so try to be flexible and temper expectations. Trying to keep up that happy appearance is a burden you don’t need to add to everything else on your plate. Be sure to take regular breaks from the frenzy of the holidays so you can relax and recharge.
Keep habits that make you feel good
Because it’s the holidays there are lots of opportunities to indulge and to break routines, but you might want to reconsider. Maintaining healthy habits like balanced eating and regular exercise, a regular sleep schedule and therapy sessions on your usual timeline will help you maintain emotional stability, help you manage your stress, and help you enjoy all the fun of the holidays.
In addition, giving to others and being grateful for what you have would be two good additions to help you maintain perspective during the stressful holiday season. While there tends to be a big focus on gift giving, volunteering is a good way to feel positive and help someone else in the process. Even simply doing something nice for someone else is a good way to feel good and do good.
With so much focus on buying gifts and planning parties, it is easy feel obligated to spend money. Being sure to stay within your financial means and practicing gratitude are good ways to maintain mental health around the holidays. It really is the thought that counts and the most meaningful gifts don’t need to cost money. Homemade cards and gifts, an offer to walk someone’s dog, or be making sure to thank people in your life from the host of the party to the cashier ringing up your groceries would all be appreciated.
And finally, if your celebrations include drugs or alcohol while it may seem like a good way to unwind and de-stress it can to anxiety and depression.
Stay connected
Talking out stress and even just checking in with or joking with friends can lift the burden from your shoulders and improve your day.
If you are isolated it’s time to reach out. Find community events to attend. Call an old friend, Facetime with relatives, go to a public event, or maybe even seek out a support group of people feeling the same way as you. Know you aren’t alone and there are plenty of ways to get connected during the holidays. If you aren’t comfortable being in person, try virtual events.
Holidays exacerbate mental health issues
NAMI has found that people who suffer from mental illness report their conditions worsen around the holidays. With all the additional stressors, many people say that the winter holiday season can be difficult.
If you or a loved one suffers from mental illness or feels extra stress this time of year, the holidays may bring the need for extra support. There are plenty of ways others can be supportive.
According to Mental Health First Aid, those struggling need someone to hear them out Asking clarifying questions and letting them know that you understand how they are feeling can go a long way in validating their emotions. Avoid offering resources and stick to non-judgmental listening to their thoughts and feelings. Once you have done so offering reassurance and information can be your next step.
